Fixation (Magnetic Desires Book 3) Read online

  "The artist captures the atmosphere, doesn't he?"

  Flicking a glance at her, I scowled. Was everything going to remind me of the past? Lola had said almost the same damn thing about the painting all those years ago. "He does. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave the details up to my assistant, Alex."

  "That will be fine."

  Alex raised her brows and gaped at me as I strode back to the stairs. Why, when I was supposed to be putting Lola behind me, did she infiltrate every part of my life? Pausing at the base of the stairs, I gazed at the photo of her and I locked in an embrace. "You're mine, Leo." I had been, back then. Probably more than she realized. I would have done anything to win her love and keep it. That moment captured in black and white was scorched into my brain with vivid clarity. It hadn't only been the moment she recognized she was mine, but the moment I knew I would do anything for her. She'd owned me so completely and the echo of that connection lingered still. No matter how much I wanted to rip her away, she clung to my insides like an organ I couldn't live without. My anger was the only thing that kept her at arm's length and I called on it now to keep me from letting her in again. I’d give her the two weeks she’d asked for but after that… "You’ve got to go, too," I muttered to the picture, before I bolted up stairs.

  Instead of my Cannon, I took out the Contax, a couple of film canisters, a lens, and my light meter and shoved them into my bag. Digital was smooth and easy, but what I needed now was the challenge of film and the relaxation that spending several hours in my lab would provide.

  I hung the bag over my shoulder and stomped back down the stairs to find the painting already gone, and Alex sitting behind her desk. "She took it already?"

  Alex glanced at me and shrugged. "She brought in some guys to wrap it properly, before they took it away."

  I eased out a breath. The blank wall seemed to empty out my chest. It was supposed to bring closure. The only thing it brought was a reminder that once I'd been happy. "Good."

  "Are you taking off for the rest of the day?" Alex asked, the click of the stapler in her hand punctuating the air.

  "Yeah, I didn’t get to that shoot this morning. I’ll try and make it back before you leave for the night."

  She snickered. "Mrs. Barclay sure seems to be keeping you on your toes."

  "It’s Lola, Alex," I ground out. "Do not refer to her as Mrs. Barclay again."

  Her forehead wrinkled and her hand hovered in mid air. "Okay, Leo, sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you."

  I softened. Subjecting her to my anger over Lola made me feel like an asshole. "Have a good afternoon, Alex."

  "You, too," she called out as I crossed to the door.

  Outside, I could smell coffee roasting, and I glanced in the direction of Nat’s, my mouth watering. I hadn’t seen her since that night, and I wasn’t ready to yet. She’d want to know what was going on, and I wasn’t prepared to answer her questions about Lola and whether or not I could get it up. Grumbling, I stowed my equipment and climbed on the bike. In two weeks, I’d be a free man and I’d go back to boning Nat. At least with her, I didn’t have to worry about what she wanted out of the arrangement. We’d never pretended to be people we weren’t. With her, it was a mutual use of each other’s bodies that left us both satisfied and under no impression that it could be anything more.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Lola

  A couple blocks from the studio I found the dark hole in the wall his assistant had suggested when I’d asked her if she knew where he was. Pushing open the door, I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. He sat at the bar, alone, and I made my way over to him ignoring the glances from the older men at a few of the tables dotted around the small room.

  "What are you doing here?" He looked up from the beer nestled in his hand.

  "Alex said I might find you here." Twisting my fingers together, I hopped onto the stool beside him. "You haven't called."

  "I've been busy." He pushed a coaster around on the scratched mahogany.

  "You said you'd give me two weeks."

  "Couldn't stay away from this?" With a smirk, he cupped his crotch.

  We need to talk. My gut told me it wouldn't be smart to lead in with the obvious, not when last time had gone so well. Trying a new tact, I aimed to lessen his hostility before I broached the subject again. "I couldn't stay away from you."

  "Every time you open your mouth, shit just pours out, doesn't it?" A deep chuckle reverberated through his chest and he cocked an eyebrow. The tic I’d noticed in his throat when we'd come face to face the last few times was missing.

  "Two weeks, Leo." I held two fingers up in front of his face. "You made a deal."

  Leaning against the polished wood, he lifted his drink and swallowed. "To get into your skirt."

  I swiveled, crossing my legs and locking my jaw to keep from gaping. It was more than I'd hoped for, this answer that wasn't, to get you out of my life.

  The bartender stopped in front of us. "What can I get you?"

  "Pina Colada, thanks." I placed my purse on the bar and rifled through it for my wallet.

  Leo nodded at the man, one finger raised from the bar. "Put it on my tab, Oz."

  "All right, Leo." His gaze drifted back to me, a slight dipping of his brow before he got to work on my drink.

  "You're a regular here?"

  He tilted his empty glass at the bartender. "And another of these, Oz."

  "On it, Leo." He pushed my drink in front of me and went to get the beer.

  "What are you drinking that crap for?" Leo asked, nodding at the creamy concoction in my glass.

  Every time he opened his mouth, I swear I held my breath, waiting for his anger to get the better of the situation, but it didn't. What the hell was going on here? "It's my favorite."

  "I would have pegged you for something a little more tart."

  Choosing to ignore the fact he was calling me a tart, I sipped the tropical cocktail. "Ever since…" I had no idea how he would react to my words, but it was worth a try, "… the cruise, I've had a hankering for one of these."

  His brow furrowed. "So you don't drink? Or you're trying to lie to me?" The tic started again, very subtly under his jaw. A one two pulse beat as the angles of his face hardened.

  "Don't drink. Haven't had a drink in six years."

  "Norah would have something to say about this." Spreading his thumb and finger between us, he drained his glass in three large mouthfuls.

  "She'd probably laugh." The motherly bartender would probably smack us both around the head and tell us to get our acts together, too, but I pressed my lips together and swirled the tiny bit of cream around the bottom of my glass.

  Signaling Oz, he pushed our glasses out in front of him. "Same again."

  "I shouldn't."

  His gaze caught mine, and combined with the heat of the alcohol, set me on fire, leaving splotches of red on my neck and cheeks. My head swam a little as the effect kicked in, or maybe it was just him. "Don't trust me to look after you?"

  The way he emphasized trust was another subtle dig at how he believed I had betrayed him, but the anger I expected each time he opened his mouth barely rippled under the surface. This was more than a dig. It was a way in, and I'd damn well take it. "Of course I do."

  Our glasses refreshed, he passed mine over and lifted his. "To the one thing neither of us could lie about. To Norah."

  "To Norah." We clinked our glasses, and I clamped my teeth together to avoid sniping at his choice of words. One day he'd realize I hadn't lied to him. Not once.

  "You're in an awfully good mood." I sipped at my drink. Any second now, bitterness would tinge the richness of his voice and leave me reeling as he pulled me apart yet again. We were in the eye of the storm. The peace a temporary thing. I wouldn't kid myself that it could be any other way.

  "I sold a painting and I'm going to get laid tonight."

  I glanced around, my heart sinking. So his good mood was due to another woman. "Oh."


  His deep chuckle reverberated through my back as he hauled me against him, the stool almost tipping out from underneath me. "Two weeks. We made a deal."

  "We did." My blood rushed at the roughness in his voice, tingles sparking between my thighs.

  Twisting around again, I held my drink in both hands. This was almost the old Leo. The one I hadn't been able to keep myself from falling in love with, and I wasn't ready to give up the way we were simply enjoying each other's company, even for sex. Not yet, when this could be the moment he started to believe in me again. "Hey, do you still go climbing?"

  "Sometimes." Skimming his finger around the rim of the glass, he shrugged. "Did you ever take it up?"

  Brady barely let me out of his sight. I bit back on the words, chewed them thoughtfully. "I've been a couple of times since I moved here."

  "You were a natural." His fingers trailed over my thigh. "You had the strength for it."

  "I had your faith in me." Shit, shit, shit, did I have to go and ruin the moment?

  His face clouded, his gaze narrowing on me for a brief second. "Let's not talk about the past, Lola. Not while I'm in such a good mood."

  "Okay." I was better at pole work than tightrope. "What should we talk about?"

  Chapter Fifteen

  Leo

  I didn't know what was different about tonight. Every damn time I saw her she pissed me off. Maybe it was getting rid of the painting, or maybe it was that I had two weeks to use her up however I wanted that let the anger settle. It helped that she didn't start with that famous line of dialogue, 'we need to talk'.

  Sitting at the bar with her, drinking and finding common ground in our memories before she left, made me nostalgic. What we'd had… it had been goddamn fucking perfect. Not that it mattered. It was over now and the two weeks I'd promised her would end fast. I thumped cash onto the bar and caught Oz's eye, before taking her hand. "You want to get some food?"

  Gazing at me with wide eyes, she bit her lip, and then with a nod jumped down from her stool. "Really?"

  "This doesn't mean anything. I'm in a good enough mood right now to fulfil our little deal."

  "Okay. I need to make a phone call." Searching out her phone, she wandered away from me to make the call.

  What kind of grown ass woman had to call someone before they went to dinner? A knot settled in my gut, a bristle of anger flaring under my skin at the thought of her and that guy she'd been hanging around with at Drake's engagement party. Dropping her phone back in her bag, she came back to me.

  "Let me make one thing clear if you want to keep this thing going. I will not share."

  "It was my sister. You remember her, right?" She frowned and shifted her weight.

  "Yeah." Why the hell had my head jumped to her fucking with someone else? Probably because I couldn't put anything past her. Because I want her all to myself. Pushing that notion down, I clenched and released my fists a couple of times as I followed her out of the bar, trying to compartmentalize the anger she seemed to draw from me so easily. For a few minutes there, we'd been… what? Our old selves? Two people without a chasm of lies between us?

  "So where do you want to go? I haven't been out in Reverence."

  My palm on the small of her back I ushered her down the street toward a little hole in the wall diner that served a mean burger and fries. "You eat meat, right?"

  "Yeah." When she nodded her ponytail bounced, and I wrapped my fist around it to pull her against me and shove my tongue in her mouth. Fingers clenched in my shirt, she pressed against me, standing on tiptoe. Tongue against tongue, she gave as good as she got. How had something so right gone so very wrong?

  I pushed her from me, both hands locked on her elbows. "I forgot you were a man eater."

  Pain scuttled her face with a wince, and she turned and yanked away from me. "Maybe we should do this another time."

  I blew out a breath and linked her arm through mine. "I've been angry for a long time, Lola. I can't just turn it off."

  "I know, but—"

  "But we made a deal. I promise, at least for tonight, I'll keep it in check."

  ***

  She stumbled over the rise at the back door and giggled. "So this is your place?"

  "Yeah." Clutching the whisky bottle, I took another swig, but it didn't stop her infectious chuckle from taking me back to when we were happy. Before she'd destroyed it all.

  The nerve in my throat jumped. Swallowing, I pushed down on the flare of anger and the inevitable rockslide in my gut. Bringing her home might not have been the best decision, but she'd vetoed going back to hers, and unless I wanted to take her in the alley behind the diner, I'd had no choice.

  Dragging a cigarette from the pack, I turned the CD player on and wandered out into the backyard to light up.

  "Stars are bright tonight." Face turned up to the sky, she took in the luminescent lights.

  "Not as bright as they were over the ocean." Now why the hell did I have to go and bring up the past?

  "That was the best two weeks of my life."

  Thumping the bottle down on the table, I stubbed out my cigarette and slipped a hand around her waist to pull her into me. Gazes locked, I scraped a knuckle from her jaw to her ear, pushing loose strands of hair behind the lobe and leaned as close as I could without kissing her. "Why do you need to keep talking about the past?"

  A twangy folk song pumped through the outside speakers, rolling over us, almost as if we were back in time, on the boat, where she was mine. The small of her back filled my palm, and her hands crept to my shoulders as we swayed. "Because back then… you used to have faith in me."

  For the second time tonight, she'd said the same thing. The past was where I trusted her. But what had she left me with? She'd run, hadn't she, taken off without a backward glance. Could I forget what she'd done and trust her again?

  Those bright eyes of hers peered up at me from under thick eyelashes and my heart thumped in my ears. Her lips grazed mine, stalling my breath in my throat as they teased me, making me believe I could. Would it always be this way with her? Letting go of my anger let her in more than I was willing to deal with. "I think you should go."

  "What?" Her eyes widened as our dance ended.

  I cleared my throat. "You need to go."

  "But—"

  "I'll call you a cab." I snatched my hands to my sides, clenching my fists to keep them from reaching for her, and stalked inside before she could get any further under my skin.

  Ten minutes later, I bundled her into the back of a cab and sent her on her way. It was best not to let her in. Hadn't she already caused me enough pain? Shaking my head, I shut off the lights and headed to bed. I wouldn't let her make a fool of me again.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Leo

  You used to have faith in me. Her silken voice filled my ears and circled my mind like a buzzard. You used to have faith in me.

  Pushing away from the laptop, I glanced at the time. Another day wasted on thinking about her. But the nostalgia from the night before persisted, lending weight to her words. Even after she disappeared, I'd trusted she'd come back; had waited for her. When had that changed? There’d never been a definitive answer for her disappearance. No theory the private investigator I’d hired could come up with. What if I’d been wrong?

  Jumping up, I tossed a few things into my camera bag and hoisted it onto my shoulder. There was only so long I could wait for the girl who was never going to come back to me.

  Only she had.

  I turned the lights off as I made my way out of the gallery. All she wanted was for me to hear her out. Could I have been wrong? I had to know. If there was any part of our past that wasn’t a lie, I… Could I forgive her? Hell, I didn’t want to let her go. I knew that much for sure.

  You used to have faith in me. I rubbed at my ear as if that was going to get the words out of my mind, or the compulsion they created for me to find her, right now, and hear her out.

  Stowing my bag in a saddlebag, I climb
ed on my bike. Taking her home last night hadn't felt as much like a mistake as I'd expected. Dancing in my backyard had been...how it had been before she left.

  Her studio was just around the corner. Surely, I could spare a few minutes to hear her out. It didn't have to mean anything. Bright light broke the shadows outside the front window.

  Two minutes, just long enough for her to tell me why she ran. That was all. I could do that without losing my temper. There she was, those tiny shorts and sports bra, her blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail that swung against her shoulders. Even in workout clothes, she always looked glamorous, drawing me in effortlessly. Her hands flew in front of her as she talked to someone outside the view the window afforded.

  Guiding the bike into a parking spot, I slid off and strode toward them. He stepped into view and I froze. The same guy she'd been with at my brother's engagement party. Tossing his palms to the sky, it was obvious from his excessive gesturing and the scowl he wore that they were arguing. I took a step forward. It was my fucking job to argue with her, not his. Except, they weren't arguing anymore, for he'd grabbed her arm and yanked her into him, his mouth on hers, her arms climbing to wrap around his neck, her leg sliding up his thigh.

  My foot tapped the ground at the same rate as the homicidal tick starting below my left eye. Lying fucking bitch.

  Hands flexed, I imagined wrapping them around her neck. I could almost feel her warm skin in my palms. Heat surged through me, frying my brain, and sweat broke out on my forehead.

  I fantasized about throttling her for fooling me, even only for a second. Fucking idiot, hadn't the first time been enough? The tang of blood filled my mouth as I ripped a hole in the inside of my cheek with my teeth. Every muscle bunched, I wanted to storm in there and... what?

  As my mind cleared, I found myself already on the bike weaving through traffic. How the hell had that happened? Calmer now, the anger sizzled beneath the surface, a sharp edge on a clear mind. It was time to end this.